We were in the Hotel De Paris in Monte when Sasha called. She was staying in the Oscar Wilde suite at the Cadogan and she'd gotten a craving for, of all things, Iranian caviar. So we decided to jet over to the Burj Al Arab in Dubai and hit the Caviar Bar there.

But, pigeons, I must tell you of the Rolls Royce Sliver Seraph that picked us up at the airport (this is a teensy bit on the flashy side, don't you think?) and who we saw as we were getting into the car. All sorts of horrid business-suited Americans were everywhere (I was told they were secret protection agents, but those suits! Awful!) Then Sasha's husband (who we hadn't seen for months- he'd been in Africa or South America or somewhere taking photographs for some American magazine) said, "Don't you know who that is?" and pointed to a man who just could not wear Versace with any style whatsoever. He told us who it was and Klaus (my paramour, you know him) whistled as if he were impressed. Unfortunately, I can't remember the American's name. Don't worry, it wasn't President Bush, dears. It was someone MUCH more important than that.

Now, I'm a French Citizen and I technically "reside" in Switzerland but even I was horrified when Klaus told me the kind of money that is being made in Dubai everyday. First, there are U.S. payoffs, then there are Al Quaeda monies being laundered through them, then there are all sorts of oil and arms monies being exchanged and Klaus said something about "reconstruction" work and building bridges and things. Klaus says it's "blood money." I don't know what all is going on there but it felt eerie. It was creepy like Christian Bale (He's not a friend of yours, is he? Hap told me to say that. I don't know who Christian Bale is but I hope I haven't offended you. That Hap is such a scamp!) Honestly what some businessmen do with money is just dull and cruel.

So we ate the caviar in the Seraph, paid the $55 dollars to cross the bridge to the hotel and had the driver turn around and take us right back to the airport again.

I can't tell you how relieved I felt to be back in Paris. Sasha has a little place there that used to be a discothèque back when I first met her. So we dug out all the old music from the club, had some bread and cheese and wine delivered and danced away the night (well, we had to have some people come in and clean up the place but they got it done in minutes and it gave us a chance to go through the music….)

Also, while we were waiting for the clean tablecloths and the food, I called Hap. She was excited to hear I was at an old dance club and she faxed me the survey but I can't answer the music survey because I know nothing about music. But Hap said to tell the Lightning Seeds story so I will and be patient with me because I may have forgotten some of it. It was eons ago, pidgeys.

When I first met Sasha we used to dance into the early morning hours in our high-heeled high-tops (I think they were Vivienne Westwood's and we wore them with wild pirate ensembles she created…ah, we were so young then!) to Depeche Mode and Yaz [ed note: just an FYI -Vince Clarke, who was once in Depeche Mode, started Yaz with Alison Moyet, he then went on to form Erasure. In April, Erasure will have a new CD out, Union Street, if you dig 'em.] and all that dance stuff; Delegation, France Joli and Manu Dibango and Dalida. I'm mixing it all together and I'm sorry but I'm just mentioning the music we found in the club the other night. Between the eras of cocaine, vitamin B shots and X there were all sorts of things playing in the background. But let me tell the story.

So Sasha and I and Klaus, one night, decide to hit London and then come back to Paris for a nightcap- this is in the eighties, I think. We go to London and meet this fellow who says he's thinking of recording an album with Alison Moyet. We knew more about things then and said, "by all means you should do that." I remember the song "Heads Will Roll" was on at the club we were at [ed note: Echo and The Bunnymen from Porcupine] and I said how much I liked it and the fellow says, "I produced it."[Clowdia, Klaus and Sasha are obviously talking to Ian Broudie] whatever that means. Oh, and he called us "the crucial three" because Klaus kept using the word "crucial" to describe things [Ed note; Broudie is making a clever musical joke here- The Crucial Three was a band featuring Ian McCulloch, Pete Wylie and Julian Cope. Wylie and Cope left the group to form Teardrop Explodes, McCulloch met Will Sargeant and this became the basis for Echo And The Bunnymen]. Anyway, this fellow gave us a record he was on and we liked him and he was quite nice although we thought him too thin and we really wanted to buy him a new sweater…lord, I remember it was tacky and old and had big green and yellow stripes. Like I say, he gave us a copy of some album, I wish I could remember the name of it, now [ed note…wish I knew, but I don't]. But I know we liked it at the time.

Flash forward to the early nineties and Sasha and I are at the very same club (well, it's in the same spot, it's not the same club, really) in London and we see this same fellow in the same horrible sweater! He remembers us! And he did find Alison Moyet and he did record a song with her and he gave us a private pressing of it [ed note: I think he gave her a copy of The Lightning Seeds' Jollification]. I do remember the name of this song because I loved it, it was called "My Best Day" and I still play it sometimes.

That's my whole story, pidgies. Got to fly.
XO to you,

Clowdia Mahmud
(Publisher, PicassoBriefcase.com)