Hap and Michael seemed to think this Spam thing is a good idea. I have never had Spam, I don't think, although a bunch of us made a game of its name at Lake Como this summer. Summer is such a bore, really. I can't wait for the Autumn when it's cooler in Paris and I can live at the flat there and get the furs out of storage. I'm sorry, dear, I'm rambling aren't I? I just can't say as I care for the Summers in Italy. The food is good but it's way too hot to eat it. I think I may go to Stockholm for a few days. That will cheer me up. Or, at least, Lars and Sven will.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the Spam thing. So we sent Maria and Tomas into Rome to find us some and they came back with it, laughed at us and opened it for us. It was some sort of Garlic flavored entrail product, I believe. I still didn't eat it. It looked and smelled far too much like the stuff we used to feed Mr. Winston, our cat. I stopped caring for cats after Mr. Winston died. He was a white Persian with blue eyes. Such a charming creature. Although. Once, I was gone for a month, skiing (in Gsstad, like Eurotrash!), and he completely ruined a gorgeous Claude Montana jacket that I'd had for just ever. They get so angry with you when you leave them for a bit.

Spam. That's my subject. I keep forgetting. I'm just dying for a Kir. I think I'll call down to the concierge and have one brought up. Maybe I'll have them make it with some cold champagne. I think my brain's a little fuzzy from lack of alcohol. Damn. I did it again. Alright, then, here's the game we played, then I'm calling for a drink and a massage.

Well, you see, we couldn't figure out what Spam was at first so we started just putting names together. Hap said, when we spoke on the phone, this was a rather amusing incident but I think you had to be there, drinking what we drinking and lazing about. I remember somebody said Spammy Hagar. Then Jules came up with Spamdau Ballet. I believe I said Spam Yankees. Klaus then said Spammy Davis, Jr. Maria said she'd heard of Spam before and said she thought it was Greek. Greek? Yes. She said she knew there was a dish they made, Spamicopita. Well. It was hilarious at the time. Klaus laughed so hard he spilled an entire Mojito on his flannels. And we had to search everywhere for that mint, too. I think this game is embarrassing and silly in print. But this is all I've got.

Michael tells me that Spam also refers to junk e-mails and such. I must say that I rarely use the internet and my e-mail address is routed through three separate European accounts and servers so I rarely even see my correspondence e-mail, let alone any junk mail . So I hope everyone else on the staff knows what this is because, frankly, I'm at a loss for words on this subject. If only Spam was something one made hats from or maybe decorative throw pillows. This, I could maybe talk about.

I do hope you're having a lovely summer, dear.
I remain,

Clowdia Mahmud
(publisher/Picasso Briefcase)

the images used for this issue are actual products you can buy at www.spam.com